What Do You Call It?

How do you know if your in love or if your mind is just playing a cruel joking on you. How do you know if someone truly loves you or if they are sticking around because they benefit from having you in their life. I am so confused & I dont know what to think or even how to feel... In all my 29 years I have never felt this unsure of myself. Do I hand my heart over & free fall...OR do I keep it locked away to make sure its never broken. Sadly I blame my father for this feeling, a girl is supposed to learn unconditional love from her father and mine bailed & ignores me as if it was some fault of my own, So if he cant show me he loves me how can I expect any other man to fall?  What do you call this feeling?

Guilty by association...

Have you ever felt that you were being pre judge by someone by something that you had no contol over such as race, gender, height, weight, etc.? Well I feel at times that my sons father lumps me in with the gagle of baby mommas he has delt with or seen or heard of. Now I haven't even had my baby yet so far I feel as though I have changed for the better I realize that my decission don't just affect me it affects all of us. So when I have a choice to make I even consider his opinion. I have never been a selfish person who does this just for my benefit. It hurts me when he says negative things about things I could possibly do just because I am a woman, a black woman. He always says that I am different (in a good way) than any of the women he has every dated but he keeps tryin to lump me in how should I feel about this?... What should I do?...