Out of my discomfort

Tonight I joined a running team I have no idea why I hate running but it has been in my mind since June I need to find my passion in something I'm so lost I do not know who I am anymore

My Choice

So I am bout to restart the great debate with my doctors once again ... I have decided I want tubal litagtion (tubes tied) why ? Is what every one keeps asking me ... Well I have 1 kid & I don't want any more. They are expensive and hard to take care of I rather be a good parent with one then a half assed to more . Looking at my personal situation having a 2nd child would kill me just the thoughts have me up tonight having a panic attack Don't get me wrong I love my son with all my heart & I do not regret having him I just feel the quality of his life would be better if he was my one & only child I do not believe in abortion & although I am not sexually active I am on the shot for fear of something happening to me & I end up with more children I am over 30 & I don't think it's fair that I keep being told no I have been talking about having my tubes tied since I was 12. In this day and age with the way they world is I feel you shouldn't have more kids than you can afford & I am already over my limit the stress of just keeping up with the bare necessities is cutting my life short I don't see how people can handle having more than1. I just know that's not for me & I pray my doctor listens this time or I will have to go to plan b which is extremely drastic