*~Life and Death~*

Today my ex boy friend who I was with for 7 years had his baby today with his wife. The wife is the girl he was cheating on me with. They had a little girl. NOW I am so over him but it seems that he is living the life that we had planned out. We both wanted a little girl who would have a "M" name. That sucks more and more I have been wishing I was married or had kids and wonder if something is wrong with me and that's why I am single. I know I am nice looking (even ugly folk find love) I have a wonderful personality people love being around me. So why am I single , and why do men constantly do me wrong. I am supportive of my man, I am open and honest, yet its never good enough. I have even dated below my status and I must have made him feel good about him self because he cheated. What am I doing wrong, or is it this state I am in. When I go to other states men hit on me and flirt with me and even keep in touch with me. But men here they love being my guy friend or they just want to have sex with me. They tell me I am sexy and they love the way I walk or the way I look at them and my body is sexy. Once the realize I am not going to give it up then they start treating me like a sister or never calling again. The time I give it up it turns in to just a sexually relationship they never want to take me on dates all the want to do is use me this hurts I can count on one hand the number of dates I been on that's suck for the girl every body loves and is so jealous of. I often sit up at night trying to figure out what is wrong with me why am I only good enough for sex but not good enough to get loved.
Also today some one died he was loved by many today as they mourn his lost, I wonder how they felt about him yesterday. Where they a good friend , where they open and honest with him? we'll never know now cuase he will take those secrests to the grave RIP

Day One

I didn't think I can or could get stage fright on a blog. It's weird how I am so paranoid of what people will think of me, just from reading whats going on in my mind.

I have decided to write a anonymous blog so that I can have the freedom of expression with out judgement from those that know me. My blog name is Maryland B. More and that's the only name you shall ever know me by 

At times I feel so alone even though I am hardly ever alone I always have people around me but when ever I try to tell them how I feel they just don't get it and often misinterpret what I am saying so from this day on I will share all with the blog.

At times my thoughts may be dark or grim but know that I am not suicidal and would never EVER harm myself or others but the thoughts do come and that's all they will ever be is figments of my imagination.

Also because I am anonymous people, places, and events will also be to kept a secret to protect their identities as well.

I welcome all feed back all comments good, bad, positive, or negative.

Be FREE Like ME!